Excercpts from the book “Six Pillars of self-esteem” by Nathaniel Branden

…..in almost every part of the world and throught virtually all the centuries behind us, women has been regarded, and been taught to regard themselves, as the inferior to men. Women’s second class status is a pronounced aspect of every brand of religious fundamentlism-be it jewish, Christian, Islamic, or Hindu.

 Women as inferior is not an idea that supports female self-esteem.

 

men are judged, and are encouraged to judge themselves, by how well they can financially take care of others. Men are socialized to be “servants” fully as much as women; only the forms of culturally encouraged servitude are different. if a man cannot support a woman, he tends to lose stature in her eyes and in his own. it would take unusual independence and self-esteem to challenge this culturally induced attitude and to ask “why is this the gauge of my value as a man?”

throught human history, most societies and cultures have been dominated by the tribal mentality. the essence of the tribal mentality is that is makes as such the supreme good and denigrates the importance of the individual. In such a society the individual is socialized to hold him or herself in low self-esteem relative to the group. Pride tend to be labeled as vice. Self-sacrificed is enjoined. passionate individual attachment are seen as threatening to tribal values and tribal authority. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………(indeed a great book for people who are not holding only their opinions and religions as truth. and who want to be selfish and want to develop their self-esteem.)

I have Learnt that

I’ve learned….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     That the best classroom in the world is at the
feet of an elderly person.

 

 

I’ve learned….
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….
That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made
my day!” makes my day.

I’ve learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is
one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned….
That being kind is more important than being
right.

I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a
child.

I’ve learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t
have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires
you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned….

 That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….
That simple walks with my father around the
block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an
adult.

I’ve learned….
That life is like a roll of
toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned….
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us
everything we ask for.

I’ve learned….
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….
That it’s those small daily happenings that make
life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…
That under everyone’s hard shell
is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned….
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What
makes me think I can?

I’ve learned….
That to ignore the facts does not change the
facts.

I’ve learned….
That when you plan to get even with someone, you
are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned….
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned….
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person
is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned….
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted
with a smile.

I’ve learned….
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with
your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned….
That no one is perfect until you fall in love
with them.

I’ve learned….
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned….
That opportunities are never lost; someone will
take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will
dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned….
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love
him one more time before he passed away.

I’ve learned….
That one should keep his words both soft and
tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned….

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned….
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose
what I do about it.

I’ve learned….
That when your newly born grandchild holds your
little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….
That everyone wants to live on top of the
mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs
while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …
That it is best to give advice in only two
circumstances; when it is requested and when
it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned….
That the less time I have to work with, the more
things I get done.

To all of you…. Make sure you read all the way
down to the last sentence.

(WORDS BY ANDY ROONEY)

DESIRE!

desire

Just Get Going!

get going

Reverse Paranoid

Dreams

Sitting in the office, pondering about the thing called success or manifesting a desired outcome; I hereby want to state my opinion on the said subject.
We have heard people saying that handwork is a key to success. It is true that hard work, dedication, and focused approach are important to achieve desired results. but this is not the foremost important things.

First thing that is important for success is desire or I like to say it simply “dreams”.
Do you and I dreams big enough to push ourselves towards achieving them?

To Dream of astounding success is first necessity for personality development.
So why do not people dream enough?
One reason can be stated as lack of self esteem. The cultural programming has big effect on every individual and their performance in daily life.  So I would like to develop my own positive affirmation with immense feeling of self acceptance and love inside out.
It is hard sometimes to think of self love when things are going pretty tough and the people surrounding us are having negative outlook on us. So what made some individual to practice the self love/acceptance?
Where does the desire born from?
In my opinion it’s a soul nature thereby not many people like to learn the laws of self love/acceptance.
Once the decision is made to seek out and learn the laws of self acceptance, the person follows an arduous path that makes him successful and achiever.
So again the people who achieve most are definitely the dreamers not really the hardworking people.
When Dr Kalam says dream, dream, dream; think, think, think and put that thought into action, act, act, and act.
The action is not only physical; it has a metal aspect also. How many thought we think, what kind of thoughts we think, how many decision we make? So and so.
Practice makes a man perfect.

Other than dreaming, the foremost important thing is visualization/ imagination for desired outcomes.

As per Rev. Scientist Albert Einstein,

“Imagination is more powerful than knowledge”

therefore I must imagine my desired outcome often, that the task I take everyday.
I must imagine the body I want to have.
I must imagine the lifestyle I want to have.
I must imagine the confidence I want to have.
I must imagine the love I want to have.
I must imagine the loveable person I want to become.
I must imagine myself as super achieved and happy go lucky man.
I must imagine associating with highly successful people and be one of them.
I must imagine myself as Richey rich and prosperous.
I must imagine myself contribution my ideas with other people.
I must make my focus on imagination that I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me.

As per Motivational speaker and my role model Anthony Robbins

“If you can’t, you must; when you must, you can”

I want to thank you whoever reads this article.

God bless you all and lots of love from me.

Raj

Forgive

Forgive
“That slight misdeed of yesterday,
why should it mar today?
The thing he said, the thing you did,
have long since passed away;
For yesterday was but a trial;
today you will succeed,
And from mistakes of yesterday
will come some noble deed.
Forgive yourself for thoughtlessness,
do not condemn the past;
For it is gone with its mistakes;
their mem’ry cannot last;
Forget the failures and misdeed,
from such experience rise,
Why should you let your head be bowed?
Lift up your heart and eyes!”

thoughts are things

I hold it true that thoughts are things;
They’re endowed with bodies
and breath and wings:
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.
That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth’s remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.
We build our future, thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose then thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.
Henry Van Dyke

“If Money Were Not Important, What Would You Do?”

(courtesy – www.48daysblog.wordpress.com)

Theologian John S. Dunne tells the story about a group of Spanish sailors who reached the continent of South America after a long and dangerous voyage. They happened to approach right at the headwaters of the Amazon River, an expanse of water so wide the sailors assumed it was a continuation of the Atlantic Ocean.

The Amazon River is the greatest river in the world. It contains over 20% of the earth’s fresh water. During the rainy season it expands to 24.8 miles wide at inland points. Where it opens into the Atlantic Ocean it is 202 miles wide, discharging eight trillion gallons of fresh water a day into the ocean. That fresh water can be detected over 200 miles out into the sea.

But these Spanish sailors didn’t realize that subtle change in the water. They had spent months knowing they couldn’t drink the water in which they were traveling. Any experienced sailor knows that drinking salt water will kill you. Although it didn’t look much different, and the change had taken place slowly, now they were right on top of the largest quantity of fresh water in the world. And with that nourishing, fresh water all around them, some of those sailors died of thirst.

That picture serves as a metaphor for how I see many people in the workplace today. They have become accustomed to work being drudgery, a bitter pill, a curse from God – something to be endured, a necessary trade-off for a paycheck – the “salt water” that life has dealt them. They know that work is not to be fulfilling, they eagerly anticipate Friday or retirement when they can leave that stinking job and really do something they enjoy and care about. But at the same time they are sitting right on top of the greatest opportunities for fulfilling work the world has ever known. Companies are desperately seeking people who understand their areas of competence and are ready to make a clear contribution to their corporate mission. With our shift from production work to knowledge work it has never been easier to transition into free-lance or independent contractor status, providing more time freedom and income potential. Being an entrepreneur no longer requires a big chunk of start-up capital or even a bricks and mortar structure.

Several years ago Jim Hodges was eager for a change. Over a casual dinner conversation his wife asked Jim, “If money were not important, what would you do?” Jim responded immediately, “I’d sit around the house and read old history books.” Guess what Jim does today. He reads old history books. He creates audio CDs as he brings to life old historical novels with his dramatic, engaging readings. With primarily a home schooling customer base, children beg to hear the next installment as they are simultaneously learning the rich stories from history. Recently I received this note from Jim – “Just thought you’d like to know that, doing what I love, my gross sales increased 49% this year to over 104K (and the year isn’t over yet), gross profits are up 69%, and net income is up 241%. All with a 7 second commute.”

Kathy came to see me because she wanted a change. She was a high level human resource director at a Fortune 500 company. With that she made the trip to the office complex each day in her business suit to find the cubicle with her name on it. I proposed that because of her training background she was an excellent candidate to present the training that companies like SkillPath, CareerTrack, Fred Pryor and others offer. They promote for a specialized workshop, fill a hotel conference room and need someone to walk in and do the presentation. Kathy was eagerly accepted by two of these companies as a presenter. For that she chooses 3-4 days a month where she presents the material and is paid $2000 for each day. In addition she is now an online faculty member for two major universities. She “teaches” and has office hours from her ranch where she sits at her computer in her blue jeans and cowboy hat. Recognize that she is still using the same skills that she used previously in a corporate setting. But Kathy told me recently that she is working approximately one third the time she did in her former position – and she has more than doubled her income.

Is it possible that rather than sitting in “salt water” you are actually right on top of your greatest opportunity as well? Let me assure you that as we hear about layoffs, recessions and economic downturns, there are opportunities all around you. Business is not declining and opportunities are not diminishing. However, they are most surely changing. We have seen subtle changes as we have moved from the Agricultural Age to the Industrial Age to the Technological Age to the Information Age and now to the Idea Age. But just as we have seen transitions from production work to knowledge work, we are now moving into an era that embraces “high concept” and “high touch” models of work. In place of the left-brain skills that were so important in the recent Information Age, we are seeing empathy, caring relationships, storytelling and compassion as the defining characteristics of those who are prospering today.

Any time is a good time to draw that proverbial line in the sand and ask yourself, “Where am I and where am I going?” Don’t let life happen to you – put yourself in the driver’s seat by designing the future you want. I know you don’t want to die of thirst while you’re sitting on top of an unlimited body of fresh water – stop, take a drink and savor the nurturing, life giving properties freely available to you.

Happiness is the way

in my opinion Happiness is a cause not an effect. the illustration that comes from the book named City Dharma is quite correct. the same illustration comes from the book named power of now. the same illustration can be sited that you need not seek the happiness, you can be happy right now. seeking comes into future, if we see the power of now. we realise that we have contradction within ourself. there is ego/past within us that seeks its survival in past and future. we become lost in thoughts and believe our stories to be true. we make any identity of ourselves by what happened in past, negative or positive. by doing this we do not respect the love of nature around us. we do not realise the beauty of nature embeeded in plants, trees, sky, animals. and we see other human beings who are also lost in mind. so we try to figure out whose pain is more – mine or theirs? we ask for happiness outside, in our position, bank balances, looks, opinions. and we get frustrated many times by indulging in self seeking behaviors. first thing to accpet the pain as part of you. accpet what is happiness or unhappiness. accpetance and surreder to life crate miracles.